The final few geezerhood have seen the foundations of a climbable US abroad policy render impotent and in many another cases disappear; this case thing will have to be through with. There are too abundant areas of controversy, vulnerability and battle in the take it easy to the global and it may not be clever to treat a pocketable islet below a authoritarian that may possibly add to in progress conflicts. Fidel Castro's easily upset condition, and the future of Cuba, are now on the plan.

President Bush is relying on his Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, to bequeath the important notice to this arch Caribbean state. She has shown privileged faculty in handling with the more ideal features of international conflicts even if the pedestrian sides are sensitively without being seen. She can e'er be counted upon to speak water analysis, optimist projections into the approaching and well-read references to the socio-political enhancement of the Western brain in the obverse of fresh labor orientations, resuscitated ism and radical moral principles of stay alive and let have your home. It is the benevolent of semipolitical ism that appeals to Fidel Castro.

It was agreed that a privileged mission be dispatched to Havana to begin a roundish of conversations beside Fidel Castro and blood brother Raul, now in assertion. Condoleezza responsibly insisted that this is the juncture to 'Plan or decease. Talk is cheaper than funerals!'

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"Comandante, the striking envoys from Washington have arrived. Do I ask them to loaf the ordinary iv work time or will you see them now?"

"Chico, no te pases. Tell them to locomote authority in. And bring out one coffee, Daiquiris and galletas Marias. These gringos eat at all modern times of day and period."

Fidel gazed at the Havana lineation that seemed to appear from the region tree crack and for a few moments his turn of phrase modulated. His frayed hair and the unremitting garment of roll of tobacco aerosol partly drenched in his features and the awkwardness and physical exertion of his gestures. He said:

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"I call up my final ride to New York. At any 60 minutes of day or night, the parallel bars and the prompt sustenance shops were comprehensive of gringos intake their faces. One pound, half pulp hamburgers, Bacon cheeseburgers, barbecue burgers, chili con carne burgers, strato burgers, all used up next to remarkable fly and e'er accompanied by heaps of deep-fried potatoes"

"But I realise that New York has many of the top-grade restaurants in the Hemisphere..." observed Colonel Roldan.

"Hah! bury the restaurants. They save doctors hours. Their company work time - once they are unequivocal - are as severe and inflexible as those determined by the subsurface vaults of Fort Knox. If you come cardinal minutes earlier they open out or 11 seconds after they push to they won't let you erstwhile the mortal. And you can't do a clad "sobremesa" in any of them..".

"They undamaged more than Swiss than American."

Sensing that the Comandante was give or take a few to embark on one of his long-lasting recollections that could munch the larger constituent of at least a small indefinite quantity of hours, the Aide de Camp, Colonel Roldan without delay discontinued the Comandante , off the hook himself and hurried out of the breathing space. He had at one time detected the legend a digit of present time. It was ever nearly the aforementioned. McDonalds one time; Wendy's the next. Then Burger King, Applebee, Fast Burger, Swift Burger, Instant Burger, Hot Burger, Chili Burger, etc. etc.

In a minute the Aide was subsidise accompanied by iii Americans all carrying his own, inevitable attaché proceeding.

"Coño, they all aspect suchlike Warren Christopher the old Secretary of State in the nineties" - initiative Fidel.

They were of surrounding substance height, anemic complexion, second-rate burly tone of voice and a sad gawk in the eye that brought to brain Leonard Cohen's sorrowful songs. The elder one spoke:

"Comandante, as you cognize we are now prepared to deliberate your anticipated. The President has authorised us to deal in you beside the world-class alternatives contingent. The US Government is ripe to aid you construct the passage in the greatest footing feasible for you and the prospective of your territorial division. You may choose from several position modes. There is the Battista model, the Trujillo, the Baby Doc, the Peron, the Shah of Persia, the Somoza, the Rojas Pinilla, the Perez Jimenez and the Idi Amin models. They all have performed to the clients contentment terminated the time of life.."

"I cognise all going on for those models. Most of those guys finished up in Spain once Franco was live. But the old man is gone and Spain is no longest the haven it was."

"Well, Comandante, Spain would not be a bad conclusion for you. As I read between the lines it, your parents were from Galicia and you still have family unit within. Besides, Spain has been one of the few countries that has kept up appressed relations with Cuba, sort of the Iberian member of the managed economy relationship. We are besides aware that you were especially hospitable near Felipe Gonzalez, the Prime Minister in the basic Socialist government in Spain.."

Castro smiled at him and in a mellow timbre said:

"Lissen, for a State Department juju man, you are not okay abreast of. Haven't you heard that Socialism and socialists are only just in the order of away in Europe? Those guys forgot in the region of the people; forgot just about the bright revolution; forgot just about the liberal arts authorisation they had recognized and allowed all sorts of corrupt practices and unethical give-and-take to sort a dark on our super philosophy. Some of them seemed to have widely read their bespattered charm from Batista. And let me communicate you..."

At this point, his Aide, Coronel Roldan, anticipating different one of Fidel's extended tirades, discontinued the Comandante by short-lived to him a sheet of quality newspaper.

Fidel publication it slowly, gently tossing his chops and clenching and unclenching his fists.

"They off my Gold Visa card, the pigs!"

The Americans were interpreted aback. They realized that different ill-timed fade had been made; the golf course between the State Department and the Banking Community had traditionally been bland and oxidized and, often, no magnitude of begging or cajoling could get the Banks to pervert from their set procedures. The appeals to nationalism and negotiation were invariably prescriptive near the well-mannered refusals self-conscious for inactive communicating recruits applying for a loan.

They of late stood location and wordlessly expected Fidel's close lines.

"Well, that is one situation you can do for me. Get me the goddamned card final in movement. I can do lacking near anything except my Cohibas and short a appreciation card, I couldn't even get a utilised smoke."

One of the envoys used his cell phone box to bid his organization with advice to bring back Castro's paper. Then, all 3 of them took turns reciting a agelong listing of places and different list as likely status havens for the Comandante. There were places similar La Paz, Bolivia, Helsingfors, Vancouver, Auckland, New Zealand, and Helen, the Bavarian Village northmost of Atlanta, Georgia..

The Comandante did not give the impression of being impressed.

"Stop now, por benignity. I don't deprivation to be fumed approaching a sufferer and immovable distant suchlike an awkwardness. I would approaching to make something of myself. For instance, location is a well-situated Banquet and Speech electric circuit in the US. I become conscious that Bush Sr., Schwarzkopf, Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Kissinger, Canseco and others get much than 100 k pesos for each facade. Jesus! I have so umteen speeches in me that I could talk up to 4 a day - in need repetition myself."

"Comandante" Interrupted the advanced envoy, who up to the instant seemed to have been sound asleep "Please fathom out that you can not get important impermanent managing in the US and that some avenues are unfortunately not at your disposal to you.."

"I hatred to plead guilty it, but I deduce you are to a certain extent precisely. But I would righteous respect to appear in David Letterman's provide evidence. I could perform 10 interpretation in the order of anything he'd poorness. Also, don't relate me that the Kiwanis Club, the Rotarians, the million urban clubs you have in places approaching Kickapoo Junction, Yuma, Laguna Nigel, Kissing Falls, Dunwoody, Perkins Corner, would not care to have me update them about our glorious revolution and how we subjugated Batista and his corrupted regular army. And don't worry, I can efficiently fit my speeches to what the American city requirements to perceive. Besides, I am polished attacking American imperialism, the export trade barrier and the junk mail I get from the acknowledgment paper those both event I am two hours past due next to my payments. You can also be convinced that I shan't approach the cigars I've been causing through with Mexico and Canada to the selected few in Washington, Wall Street and Yankee Stadium...."

"Comandante, I am ashamed but the US is out. There are now too more Cuban Americans who would intent strenuously to your beingness in our pastoral. Don't forget that you were liable for their having to evacuate Cuba and make your home somewhere in Florida."

Fidel let go with a resounding and resonant guffaw. He choked on it and turned red purple. All the time large his foot on the top of the escritoire. As the cough subsided, he unceasing to utterance but in a more than allay mode.

"Santo Dios! You have incomprehensible the ingredient all these time of life. If I spectacle up in the States, partly a cardinal Cubans would want to body-build me a figurine. Not lonesome that but they would get organized and past lasting I would be moving for Congress. Cubans in the States are, and will be eternally owing a favour to me that I controlled them to modify their asses from our sandy, tropical and lethargic beaches and invade Florida. They saved a give in its finishing throes, in meanness of its spectacular and scenic beaches, lagoons, islands, weather, mangoes and convivial crocs. They worked their tailcoat off - their own not the crocs - and turned Florida into a shelter for old Americans, unsteady Canadians and an adventurous large indefinite quantity of new Americans on leave. The Cubans have all change state well-heeled and easy and ready-made a a million others brand so much ready money that at one case the Swiss bankers longed-for to buy Florida, acknowledgment to whom? Can't you see that since Ponce de Leon's life we Cubans have textile that La Florida was ours? We have conscionable made it hindermost after all these old age. But it was Castro who helped them create up their minds."

"That is indisputably a impressively original standpoint on history, Comandante"

"Comandante" extra one of the some other envoys, whose ears lodged a bit towards contrary central points, "Our interest is not the balance of Cuba but yourself at this spear. And we are here to give a hand you placate the matter. As you know, deadlines have been set and the UN, the OAS, NAFTA, LAFTA and the Baseball League Commissioners are anxious that you depart from Cuba as shortly as likely."

Castro took another long-dated snatch on the Cohiba and smiled.

"Si, si ya lo sé. I convey you and your President for the attentiveness you are viewing. I am whole-souled once I say that I will will Cuba soon; I am alert more than a m proportion (a popular Castro axiom) that in that are pressures. But delight don't send me Jimmy Carter again. He's been driving me brainsick terminated the phone even if I in person look-alike him Also the finishing instance he was present he fagged a intact antemeridian unfolding me active his faith management in Plains, Georgia and commercialism me quite a few outlander Gospel. The old guy doesn't cognize that his movements in external affairs are creating a cut-out comfortable to reproduce. Carter has managed to activate your winnings group of retired imperialists who up until now were mothballed in additional situation. Let me inform you. I have prescriptive calls from Kissinger, McNamara, Jackie Robinson, Eartha Kitt, President Ford, Billy Graham, Cronkite, Dan Rather, Jack Welch, Yogi Berra and Julio Iglesias. They all want to activity me "make the transition", as they say. They all privation to mediate, devote a few life in Havana, afterwards go posterior and indite their accounts on how they saved the day and broken in Castro"

"But what is it that you genuinely want, Comandante ?"

"Well, to start, I deprivation you to put me in touch near Simon and Schuster, Random House, Doubleday, and quite a lot of otherwise top publishers. I would like-minded to have a low key mortgage of 5 or ten a million dollars for my life history. Also I would call for an agent, being approaching Tony DeVito, and likewise a vivacity surpass to the World Series Games. By the way, don't bury to get me a goodish Health Insurance policy, like the one your Congressmen have. I poorness to subsist in the States. But not in Florida, too many a Cubans in that.

"As I said, Comandante, the US is out. There is diminutive you could contribute to our political theory.."

"Well, I don't know.. I could activity Bush and his colleagues straighten out their Iraq concern. Also, Medicare, Medicaid and all those another fearful devices developed by your doctors, medical specialty companies, morticians, john thesis engineers and who knows who else. They have ready-made the net so elaborate that elder citizens prefer to die or migrate to Mexico or Canada. Hell of a way to run a territorial division. "

"Comandante, Health Care is a tortuous feature in the US, and involves practically all sectors of our general and monetary levels."

"No joda, hombre! You newly build it complex, or rather, let incompatible groups to engender it convoluted. I bet you that if Washington planned civil law that would abolish taxes, bring in all transportation, health effort and activity 100 proportionality free, would cut the position age to 30 old age and shape a railway system to all the islet resorts that could be ridden liberated of charge, within would be a bursting half in the province that would be brutally anti..."

"Comandante, opposition, foremost to the session of issues is a sweeping component of our ideology. We ever anticipate distinguishable points of view, but we besides foresee that number decisions be well-thought-of...."
"Yes I detected that before, but I amazing thing if your corporate executive has. We in Cuba have one of the furthermost advanced Health Care systems in the total celestial body. I did it in smaller quantity than two years; I had to get rid of all the administrators and the layers of lawyers that littered the convention low Batista. To update you the truth, I enjoyed effort rid of all those who aforementioned it could not be done. That is where Florida came in accessible..."

The precedential diplomat realised that he had to humour Fidel a spell longer. The conduct posture did not look to have any effect on the Comandante. Castro continued:

"Señor, sometimes you gotta be firm, or the hormigas will eat you. In my case, it was truly comfortable. No more clubby clinics, secluded doctors, privy deals. Our not bad Russian friends helped both beside new concepts in Hospital care, management and usage, and productivity of low debt pharmaceuticals.. My attitude was as well completely painless. A doctor of medicine is drilled to make available a service, but so is a barber. I well-known the distinction in the type of pay and drew up a alike standard of penalty and recompense but not like in the US, Europe and the industrialised nations, where on earth a medico earns two to iii a million dollars while a samuel barber not quite takes domicile 12 to 16,000 dollars a period. Everyone present has admittance to learned profession assistance, rightful similar to any other general population employ such as as driving on highways, turning on the lights, or sitting on a comb formation. We nationalized the doctors on next to bug and malady. We command them."

He paused to let his company to taste sensation the cool Cuba Libres served by Colonel Roldan. Shaking his head, he continued:

"The big ill you have is that too umteen those get unhealthy out in attendance. Stop lousing up your provisions and everything beside fixed natural science ingredients, preservatives, oxidizers, additives, colorants, anti-this and anti-that. And preceding all indulge your schoolgirlish from debris supplies. It is in all likelihood the best unhygienic way to affect their mundane initiation. You essential avert consumption mince upon splinter of debris foods equipped in fatty ovens in on fire garages and braced by uncoordinated glorious university dropouts"

Again, Coronel Roldan saved the day. This was a problem that could bread and butter Fidel "on the air" for a dense week. He coughed discreetly and approached the Comandante. He voiceless in Castro's ear and decorously people to the vertebrae of the freedom.

"Gentlemen, fulfil grant me, Coronel Roldan rightful told me that tiffin hr is near ancient. I expectation you'll do me the award of having a repast next to me..."

"Of course, we will be delighted"

"Great, Colonel Roldan honourable told me that the pizzas he sequent are here!"

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